Of Fights, Fake Psychics and Fair Play
by newyorktopaloalto
Summary: In which Dutchy and Specs fight over the show 'Psych' and Bumlets is annoyed at them. Sputchlets, Modern Day.


"You know they're in love."

"Oh no, you did not just say that." Dutchy looked insulted at the very thought.

Specs turned to him, astonished at the vehemency of his tone.

"Um…" he tried, looking around desperately.

"No. Just no. They are not in love, they will never be in love and to imply otherwise is blasphemy." At this Dutchy swiveled and—almost violently, turned the television off.

"I was watching that," Bumlets complained from behind his book.

"I cannot believe that you actually think they _like _each other, let alone _love _each other."

"But- I mean. Look, they have undeniable sexual tension. Why do you think it's the most popular slash ship on the show?" Specs gestured to his laptop, as if that proved his point.

"You- you- I can't believe you! Shules all the way man!" And with that Dutchy stormed into the kitchen.

"What the fuck is a 'Shules?'" Specs asked.

Bumlets shrugged, looked up from his novel and squinted at the television.

"When did we stop watching _Psych_? I was really into it."

"You already complained about it," Specs grinned, amused.

"Oh," Bumlets furrowed his brow and made a face, "I totally knew that."

"Yeah sure."

They sat there for a few seconds, listening to the sounds of Dutchy banging what seemed like every kitchen appliance they owned.

"So what were the two of you arguing about?"

"_He_ thinks that Shawn and Lassiter should get together!_" _came the enraged, bodiless, kitchen voice.

"I just happened to mention that they maybe could be in love. It's not that big of a deal!" Specs yelled back.

"Can you guys stop yelling? I don't want the neighbors to call the cops again," Bumlets sighed, showing his mounting frustration in the sharp exhale.

Dutchy stomped back into the room and sized Specs up. Specs looked back at him, his calm demeanor disappearing and turning into exasperation at Dutchy's affronted countenance. Bumlets' eyes ping-poged between the two of them, and he closed his book and got more comfortable on the armchair he had been residing in.

"Just because I'm not yelling doesn't mean I'm not mad at you, Nathaniel," Dutchy sniffed, haughtily.

Specs smiled sweetly back. "I wouldn't expect anything less, Diederik."

Bumlets silently tallied a piece of paper he had acquired from his pocket and nervously pursed his lips. He seemed to come to a decision and opened his mouth.

"What did you just call me?" Dutchy hissed before Bumlets got a chance to actually speak.

"You heard me." Specs folded his arms, half in triumph and half in amused anger.

"I don't think I did, actually. Say it again."

Specs stepped closer to where Dutchy was silently clenching his fists.

"I said," he started quietly, "I don't really care about what couple you support in a damn television show, Diederik. I was making an innocuous statement, and you just blew up for no reason. I know it's your favourite show ever, but you have to get over it," Specs nodded, done with his piece.

"Diederik," he added before Dutchy could apologise.

Bumlets groaned because of course Nathaniel had to ruin it. Dutchy looked like he was about to give up the ghost but saying Dutchy's real name gave up all hope in the three of them having a peaceful evening.

"Can you guys just not?" Bumlets asked, "Please? Like, I would really appreciate it if we could all just get along."

"We are getting along Alex," Specs said, swooping down to kiss Bumlets' temple.

"Yeah totally," Dutchy agreed, kissing his cheek resolutely, as if to show Specs up.

Alex sighed again. "You guys don't have to placate me. I may be the youngest, but I am definitely more mature than the two of you combined. I can, indeed, handle you guys fighting viciously over a television show." He ended his statement derisively, annoyed at the petty argument.

Specs and Dutchy looked at each other, realizing that maybe fighting over a USA show wasn't the best way to spend their night.

"You're right," Dutchy stated over his shoulder to Bumlets, walking over to Specs and nudging him with his shoulder.

"As always," Specs continued, flopping onto the couch.

"Thank you."

Bumlets opened his novel again and started to read. Specs and Dutchy silently fought over the remote but finally settled on the Food Network.

After a few minutes Specs cleared his throat.

"So, Dutchy?" Specs asked, eyes darting over to Bumlets.

"Yes, Specs?" Dutchy asked, biting back a grin at Alex's annoyed eye flicker.

"Remus and Tonks, right? The cutest couple ever, or should that go to Harry and Ginny?"

"I would definitely have to say Harry and Ginny, Specs. But yes, Remus and Tonks is a close second."

They sniggered as Bumlets stood up and calmly walked to their bedroom. The effect was ruined, however, by the tell-tale slam of the door.

"I told you that the two of us fighting would get him in bed."

"You seem to be right once again, Dutchy."

They grinned at each other a final time before heading to the bedroom themselves.

Needless to say, everyone had a good night.


End file.
